I've always been quite a messy person and never been one for housework. I like to do a thorough job and get some satisfaction when I can see a real difference. I used to try to have a 'mad half hour', but have discovered over time that my tolerance for household chores is between 10 and 20 minutes before I get bored/sidetracked/make a cup of tea. I've a friend who catches up on phone calls while she does some chore or other; the signal comes and goes while she wanders round, then her voice changes as she cradles the phone on one shoulder and talks over the the merry splash and clatter of the washing up.
I was watching the film 'The Holiday' again and wondered what it would be like to be a 'neat freak', to be so clean, tidy and organised that you can drop everything at a moment's notice and just swap houses with someone else.
Recently, I have been trying to have a tidy up, reminding myself that 10 minutes three times a day would still make a difference. Now I have the cottage mostly to myself and my cats, so I only have myself (and the cats) to blame for the mess. Usually. I cleaned the bathroom floor yesterday, and this evening there are muddy footprints all over it where a small herd of workmen have been in and out of the toilet while they do some plastering in the main farmhouse, now inhabited (although it is nowhere near finished) by XP, CG, her daughter, the dog and a hamster. They'll be back tomorrow, so frankly I can't be bothered to clean it tonight.
That's what puts me off housework. No sooner have you dusted, than it starts to settle again. I'm always amazed by the amount of fluff and bits in the vacuum cleaner, although I only do the rounds once a week. (It's not so surprising at the moment, with two cats moulting. This is not a house for someone allergic to cats!)
I'm now finding that there is something cleansing about the cleaning and tidying. Alongside the cleaning, I am gradually separating possessions and gradually 'evicting' his. I'm beginning to think more about where I want things. Why do I still have the kitchen bin where XP had to have it? What if I rearrange this and have it there instead? And so I have, cleaning and rearranging here and there to my own considerable satisfaction. Without XP here, I can also burn joss sticks and use perfumed products which would have been banned before, so I'm happily scent marking my space too.
Ultimately, I shall do some redecoration - it's well overdue. Just a coat of white over everything, like a fresh start and a plain background to stamp my personality on.
I've just booked my first proper holiday in over 5 years. The last time I went on holiday abroad on my own was 24 years ago - almost half my lifetime. I'm staying with friends, so I'm not as nervous as I might have been.
Bit by bit, I am beginning to feel like my own person again.
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